Larxene's Marvelous Plan
by justplainrii
Summary: Unsatisfied with her lowly positition amongst the Nobodies, Larxene takes advantage of her feminine wiles and conducts a plan to undermine Organization XIII through the careful act of seduction.  When she succeeds, what will come of it?  Crack, LarxOrgy.
1. A Glass Half In Between

**Chapter 1 - A Glass Half-In-Between**

Larxene sat in her room, feeling empty and dissatisfied.

Well, she felt empty every day, given that she didn't have a heart; her capacity for feeling emotion was rather hampered by this fact, as nothingness had a habit of presiding over emotion. Dissatisfaction was a feeling that was strong enough to be felt through the void that preoccupied all Nobodies, as it would seem.

Considering her situation, it wasn't hard _not_ to feel dissatisfied; there was absolutely nothing to do in an oversized castle filled with boring men, led by one that was half-insane and absolutely incapable of following through on any plan he had created -- Xemnas' last plan had them spending several unfruitful months chasing down a "Blue Fairy" with the hopes that she might give them hearts, with no such luck.

Recently, she had been a little bit hopeful that there might be a break in the monotony when Xemnas had come back with two new Nobodies one day, after messing around in Twilight Town -- Roxas, one of them was called, and the other one named Namine, a girl. It was a curious fact that Roxas seemed to possess a Keyblade, and it made Xemnas positively giddy upon its discovery. Not much time had passed before he was already plotting new conquests in heart-attainment, though it was anybody's guess what the hell he would use the weapon for in the first place, given his intentions. Namine, however, appeared to be relatively powerless (other than looking sad enough to make even Saix frown a little more than usual), so she was kept separate from the rest of the Organization, without even an X to her name. Roxas was given the thirteenth positition of the staff, finally making the otherwise vaguely-stupid name have purpose -- it was rather silly to have their group be called "Organization XIII" when there had been only twelve members for the past few months, and only six to begin with (most blamed Xigbar, who wanted something that "sounded really cool and kinda menacing" when they were trying to make a name for themselves).

A lot of Xemnas' breakfast-time rants had been about the Keyblade, recently, and anyone could guess from his lengthy soliloquys that he wanted to get another one, come hell or high water. Though there was a general consensus that two Keyblades would be better to have than one (with Roxas showing a little bit of excitement over the prospect of wielding two Blades, like someone out of an action film), Larxene felt that it was somewhat unneccesary. After all, what purpose did the Keyblade serve? To the best of her knowledge, it sealed hearts and purified them; rather useless, considering Nobodies didn't even _have_ hearts. True, they could kill Heartless and leave their hearts intact... but what the hell purpose would that serve, either? The few hearts that they had found whole or made did nothing to satiate their emptiness, so Larxene was rather pessimistic towards the whole business. As far as she was concerned, she didn't have a heart, and wasn't getting one back anytime soon, and she was fine with that.

What she wanted, she thought, sitting in her room that day, was power. She was sick and tired of having to deal with these hare-brained schemes, day after day, with nothing of use coming of it. What was so bad about not having a heart? she thought. The absence of a heart meant an absence of emotion (most of them, anyways), and with that lack of emotion came a lack of conscience. How awesome was that? No guilt for otherwise questionable actions, certainly, along with various other perks. Sure, love was a pretty big plus that came with hearts, but Larxene never really was big on love, anyways. To her exhasperation, it seemed that the melodramatic boobs that were in charge of the only organized group of intelligent Nobodies were wrapped-up and insistant on getting their hearts back so they could feel it. Idiots.

Larxene knew what she would do if she were in charge: she'd just leave everyone the hell alone, that's what she'd do. Maybe group up more Nobodies and make sure they don't go around messing stuff up anymore, since, hey, what was the point? "Lost your heart? Might as well enjoy the fact you didn't die and enjoy the perks," was her perspective.

Yes, Larxene knew she'd keep the Nobodies well-occupied under her power, but her problem lay in how she would get that position in the first place. As the twelfth member of the Organization, she didn't have very much political power amongst the rest of them (Saix's favorable position with Xemnas was an exception that brought with it a great deal of hate amongst the rest of the members, especially with Xigbar). She knew she could certainly best some of the asshats like Luxord or Demyx in a duel, given the chance, but that would do nothing to change her rank. Asking nicely never got anyone anywhere, either, so it was positively out of the question (especially with someone like Xemnas.)

So, there Larxene sat, where she had been sitting for the past few hours, pondering and pondering over how she was going to give Organization XIII a good transformation.

And then, it hit her. She was skeptical at first, but as she thought it over, a grin began to spread on her face; it was a foolproof plan, she was sure of it.

Finding a small notepad, she began to write down the other members of the Organization, starting with Roxas and ending with Xemnas, and tucked it into her pocket, before striding out of her room and finding herself in the Proof of Existance chamber. First on her list was Roxas, which was kind of worrisome... but worth a try nonetheless. Striding into his chamber, she found it empty, and sighed. Where could that annoying little adolescent be?

Thinking a little, she remembered that if Roxas wasn't in his room, he was pigging out in the kitchen, so she saved herself the trouble and opened a portal of darkness, reappearing somewhere near the refrigerator.

Roxas, who was sitting at the table and drawing something, mercifully alone, looked up a bit as she appeared. "Oh, hey, Twelve," he said casually, adding a bit of blue crayon. "What's up?"  
"You ever kissed a girl, Roxas?" Larxene asked abruptly, causing Roxas to bring his crayon across the paper with a sudden jolt.

"H-have I ever d-done wh-what?" he stuttered, too surprised to notice his ruined doodle.

"Kissed a girl," Larxene repeated. "You ever done it?"

"N-no," Roxas said nervously, putting the crayon down, where it rolled away.

"You wanna try?" she said, winking and leaning towards him, her hands on the table. Roxas was silent for a short while, his eyes darting from side to side, before he screamed, "EWWW, GROSS!!" and ran away, leaving his badly-drawn picture of a dog (and the beginnings of a cat) on the table.

"Damn," Larxene said, and took out her notebook, scribbling down a note. "Maybe I'll have more luck with Marluxia."

_XIII - Roxas: Too young. Probably thinks I have cooties. F. _


	2. In the Garden of Evil

**Chapter 2 - In the Garden of Evil**

Marluxia had but two passions in his non-life.

One of which was for power, which he was intent on obtaining and wielding to the best of his ability.

The other was for his flowers, which resided in a rather nice greenhouse he had produced in his chambers that basked in an imaginary sun and thrived with his prescence.

Two very useful passions to have, as they rhymed and had the potential for remarkable poetry.

Unfortunately, Marluxia had neither the capacity nor the interest to write poetry for his passions. Rather, he spent his time creating long, lengthy, ultraviolet odes of prose to his pursuits. And it drove the rest of his coworkers mad.

Many a night in the Castle That Never Was was filled with the sound of Marluxia's elegant voice, drifting from his chamber or somewhere in the vast hallways. It was a pleasant sort of thing... for the first five minutes. Then it just positively got on your nerves. Xigbar was a rather vocal opponent of Marluxia's "release of emotion," as he artfully put it ("We don't have emotions, fool," Xaldin would smoothly remind him, only to be ignored), and on those frequent many-a-nights, Marluxia's voice would be countered by a rough and angry, "DUDE, JUST SHUT UP ALREADY. I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP."

Marluxia didn't listen to Xigbar very often.

Few got a good night's sleep in the Castle That Never Was.

A rather obvious flaw of Marluxia's penchant for speeches is that he had absolutely no mental privacy.

It was almost as if the man had no inner monologue; he would speak long and lengthily if he thought that the choice of food for that evening's dinner was "abysmal," or if he particularly enjoyed a book, exploring each plot twist and piece of character development with words that would probably cause skin cancer, given the chance to gain tangible form. To Marluxia, there was no such thing as a spoiler warning.

Xemnas was even fully aware of his desire to overthrow the Organization in a violent uprising, and planned on placing him on a mission with Axel somewhere far away and letting nature -- in the form of his distrust of anyone that wasn't blond, had blue eyes, and a Keyblade wielder -- take its course.

Larxene didn't want that to happen just yet, though. She had other, greater plans in mind.

A few days after her attempt at Roxas, while reading calmly in her room, she heard Marluxia reciting a grandiose poem of ecstasy to a particular corner of his garden, and a thin smile appeared on her face. She put down her copy of "Animal Sedation For Fun and Profit" and opened a portal into Marluxia's chamber.

"Oh darling lovlies," Marluxia said, practically singing, "oh my little children. How beautiful you are!"

The subject of Marluxia's speech of adoration that afternoon was a thin rectangle of boxed earth that held some particularly dangerous plants he lovingly based on his fellow Nobodies. Reaching a gloved hand towards the _Xigbari Freeshootrum_, the pale-violet blossoms opened and floated away into the air at his touch, and he laughed a little. "My sweet little babies, how lovely you smell! How perfect you are!" The _Xaldinus Lancet_ nearby swayed in a non-existant breeze as he passed. "Oh my children, how much better are you than flesh! Oh darlings, you know how I ask Superior every day to put a little more foliage, but does he listen? Oh, that fool doesn't listen." Marluxia reached to a nearby shelf and grabbed a metal watering can, and approached the _Demyxa Nocturna_, a spiky-looking plant with many "pods" covered in hairs that ended in dew-covered drops; squeezing one of the pods, an unrealistic amount of water poured from his clenched fist and into the watering can, and returned to its previously round state as Marluxia went to water the rest of the nothing-plants, humming as he went.

"Tomorrow, I think I will give some attention to your brothers in the flesh-eating corner, don't you think, my sweet pets?" he said, and leaned in to have a smell of _Axelum Flurrifa_, a peppery scent that soon gave way to smoke as he came too close, and the center of the flower emitted a small ball of red flame. Grabbing his hair and putting out the minor fire, he heard a small laugh from behind.

"You should be more careful, Marluxia," said Larxene.

"Ah, thank you, Larxene," Marluxia said, not very kindly. "I didn't hear you come in."

"I let myself in," she said.

"So it would seem," he replied. "What are you doing in here?"

"Just admiring your... marvelous collection of flora here," Larxene said, honeying each word carefully. "It's really quite amazing, Marluxia."

"Why, thank you," Marluxia said, feeling the slightest swell of pride in his chest. "They _are_ nice, aren't they?"

Larxene nodded, and approached the plot of earth, passing behind Marluxia and ever-so-slightly trailing her fingers on his butt, in an almost accidental manner. Marluxia stiffened up slightly; it tickled.

"So what's this one called?" she asked him, approaching a rather thick-looking bush with waxy red leaves. "It reminds me of Lexaeus, for some reason."

"It's the _Lexausor Herois,_ actually," Marluxia, attempting to sound as matter-of-fact as possible. "Larxene, did you just--"

"And what about this one?" she continued, pointing to a spindly, unhealthy-looking thing with thin, silver-blue leaves. "Doesn't look like it's doing so good."

"That's the _Zexionus Cloakeno_," Marluxia said, "and it's doing quite well, thank you very much. Most of it's underground."

"How apt," said Larxene smoothly, and leaned in to view a particularly beautiful pale flower that stood on a single, thin stalk in its plot of earth. "And I wonder what this one is?" She stroked the feathery surface of the puffball-like thing, and Marluxia found himself growing suddenly worried.

"Wait, that's--" he began, but was too late as the plant split in two and bit Larxene's finger with a snarl. "..._Saixus Divina_," Marluxia ended.

Larxene brooded a little, freeing her finger from the plant and watching the blood bead up from her torn glove; the plant snarled and opened and closed its "mouth," as if sampling the taste with delight. "Oww, now why do you have one of these, Marluxia?" she said in a pout that was borderline mockish. "How utterly inconvenient." She delicately placed her finger in her mouth and sucked the blood away, her eyes heavy and seductive as her tongue moved over the surface of her glove; the nothing-fabric repaired itself nearly instantly, but her mouth remained on the finger. "Kiss to make it better, Eleven?"

Marluxia found himself slightly flustered, and very confused. "Are you feeling all right, Larxene?"

"Oh, I'm fine, it's just..." she said, and sighed in an expression of utter patheticness. "Marluxia, I feel... _empty_."

"I think you'd expect that," Marluxia replied, and swallowed slightly. "We don't have hearts."

"Yes, I know..." said Larxene, and balanced her finger on the edge of her bottom lip. "I want to _feel_ like I have one, though. I'm _hungry_."

"...hungry," Marluxia repeated, and Larxene nodded.

"Marluxia, don't you ever... get lonely here, with nothing but these flowers around?" she asked.

"Lonely? No, not really," Marluxia replied, going from vaguely-confused to extremely. "Whatever could you mean, Twelve?" he asked in all seriousness.

"You don't like speaking with the rest of us," Larxene said. "Don't you ever want some... human contact?"

Marluxia stood there, thinking this over for a short while, as Larxene looked up at him, her finger still poised in her mouth. "Contact? I get plenty of interaction at meals, Larxene," he replied.

"That can't be fufilling," Larxene said, and slowly approached him, her arms rising and beginning to wrap around his shoulders; he was frozen, not quite sure what to do. So, he tried to say something logical.

"Get your arms off my shoulders, Larxene," he said.

"Come on, Marluxia," she said, her voice soft and sweet. "There's nobody here but the flowers to watch us... why don't we try pollinating?"

Before he could protest, she jumped up and pressed her lips against his, and it wasn't long before Marluxia found himself kissing back.

-///-

Not long after, Larxene untangled herself from Marluxia's sleeping form, and zipped her jacket back up. A bed of roses had mysteriously appeared around the spot where they had fallen, blooming in the fit of passion. Larxene made no effort not to step on them as she left.

Marluxia, naked as a mole rat, curled up in the petals. "Mmm... moonflowers..." he moaned softly, and she sighed.

"How utterly sentimental, nearly makes me sick," she replied, and produced the notebook. "Hm, that wasn't so bad. Wonder how Luxord'll do?"

_XI - Marluxia: A bit too passive, let me be on top. Pesky flowers got in the way a few times. Great kisser. Uses strawberry gloss...? B+._


End file.
